ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
