he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
