well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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