she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
