Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
