ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
