That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
