I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
