On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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