hotel room ftw
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Terrible idea I love it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
