her vagine was all disorganized.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
