I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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