Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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