just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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