considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
