We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
