ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
