I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
