What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
