Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
