He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
