its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
