He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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