My nipple is on Facebook.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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