is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
