I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
