we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
