Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
