So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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