trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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