two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
