I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
