it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
two words: eviction party
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
