oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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