I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
