So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
