btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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