She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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