saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
