hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
