Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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