you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
