How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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