who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
