Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
