therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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