She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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