I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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