I skipped work to stalk him.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
