My nipple is on Facebook.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
