Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
